When you’re unhappy, your first instinct might be to think that the people around you are the source of your problems.
And therefore, they need to change in order for you to feel better about yourself. This is a cognitive distortion called “The Fallacy of Change,” and believes that everyone needs to change except us to remain happy. And can cause problems in relationships and friendships when we feel like someone is trying to force us to change.
The Fallacy of Fairness is a cognitive distortion in which you believe that things should be fair, and if they aren’t, it’s not your fault.
If you’re someone who has the belief that life should be fair, then this article may help you understand how to think about fairness in a more realistic way.
Do you ever feel like the universe is punishing you? That no matter how much you sacrifice, that outcome you desire still won’t come? Do you find yourself expecting Karma or some other divine force to repay you for your good deeds and immediately?
You’re not alone. In fact, a lot of people think that way. But it turns out that this thinking pattern is called “Heaven’s Reward Fallacy,” which negatively impacts your life in many ways.
In a nutshell, when we think that everything in our life is due to factors inside or outside of our control, we experience a lot of negative emotions. When we believe that something or someone has power over us and our lives, or we believe we hold that type of power over others, it’s called a Control Fallacy.
A human mind is a powerful tool, but it can also be a dangerous weapon if we don’t understand how our thoughts work. Our minds are constantly thinking and trying to make sense of the world around us. Unfortunately, this leads to many distortions in our thinking that affect how we feel and react to situations. I’ve put together a blog post listing the most common cognitive distortions to help get you started so you know what to look for and address them.
Personalization is a root cause of emotional distress. It creates a sense of insecurity, anxiety, or imposter syndrome, and you’re just waiting for others to figure out that you’re the problem.
When you attach a label to yourself or another person, it then becomes what is used to describe yourself or the other person. And carries the belief that this label reflects who they are at their core instead of just in that moment.
Although should, musts and oughts are at the root of most emotional distress. They are also easily used and conveyed. And can also look similar to personalization.
In a nutshell, it is “I feel therefore it must be true.” Whenever someone concludes that how they feel about something must be the reality of the situation, any evidence that contradicts how they are feeling is dismissed in favor of the assumed “truth” of their feelings.
Much like a microscope, this can magnify or minimize qualities you want to make larger or smaller and offers the ability to distort them and remove them from their original context.